Turning 50

It's true and I can scarcely believe it. 2010 has finally come and so in less than 3 months time, I will reach my 50th birthday. This is a milestone, no doubt about it, and I want to make the effort to do it well. I have been so haphazard about so much of my life, letting too much of it happen to me, reacting rather than responding, passively watching too many days, weeks, months and years trickle away. Well, now it is time to become more intentional about living again, and to hold myself accountable to this goal, I am going to share the process with you, dear reader. Let me hear from you occasionally, and feel free to gently encourage me to move forward and not dwell too much in the past. But please be gentle.

I intend to do some backward looking -- time to remember and celebrate, to reflect and grow. I intend to make the effort to take stock of what I have accomplished thus far in life, and with God's help, determine whether any of it is of lasting value, and then do better to invest myself in things of eternal worth. During this year, I hope to arrange several celebrations of life, with special friends, and I will share those with you. I also intend to set some goals for growth, not the least of which is the daily commitment to write this blog about turning 50.

I don't know how long I shall continue to write about the process, but since I am beginning some 75 days before my birthday, I shall probably continue to record the change process for at least that long afterward. That will see me through Lent, Easter, and Pentecost, which might just be a good outline for this momentous time in life.

Do I think that my experience of Turning Fifty is more important than anyone else's, or that I have any particular insight that will shatter the world? No, not at all, but I do want to do this well, and set a course for the second half of my life (well, sure, it's already begun, but better late than never) which will take me to the end in victory.

Yes, I am going to make some resolutions, and some of them will be the same old tired ones I've been making for 25 years or more, but if I don't try again, then I will just percolate in the same juices until I am thick and no good, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I shall try to share those resolutions with you, and my progress in them, as I undertake to make the changes. If I fail to record my progress, let me know! Again, accountability and encouragement are part of the method of my madness.

About 20 years ago, my then elderly friend Eleanor told me about another aging woman she knew who lived alone. This woman knew that she was losing some physical and mental acuity, but had no family nearby to help her make changes that might keep her safe. So, she spoke to the postman and the beat-cop, both of whom were good friends, and asked them to follow her in their automobiles from time-to-time, when they saw her out and about in her car. If they noticed that she was making poor decisions or reacting slowly and felt that the time had come for her to give up her auto-mobility, they were invited to speak directly to her. She wanted their input and recognized that she would not always be able to see her own needs and limitations clearly.

So, I am inviting you to do the same, not only in this post, but in the years to come as we both grow older. As I said, please be gentle. "A bruised reed he will not break." I want to grow, not just be reminded of how far I have yet to go, or of how poorly I have yet done.

And I don't intend for this exercise to be a belly-gazing, myopic, self-absorbed meditation on me. The whole point is to learn to live well, to live better, and that means to learn to live a more other-focused life. I want to learn to love more freely, forgive more readily, and laugh more heartily. Join me! We just might have fun!