Turning 50 - 66 Days to Go -- Mama's Friends -- the News Hens

"Why are you talking about your mother's friends in a blog about turning 50?" you ask. Well, I don't know...filler? No, really, there is a method to my madness. Part of my plan in this time of transition is to take a look backward, not just at my own life, but at the things that influenced me, and my mother and her friends were certainly among the strongest influences.




The other reason I am focusing on Mama is that she was 25 years old when I was born. She would have turned 75 in August, 2009, and so this would have been a milestone year for her, too. Mama died 10 years ago, and some of her friends have gone (including Carolyn #3, who died 30 years ago of a brain tumor). My hope is to see many of them during this special year, invite them to join me somewhere in a garden for tea, probably near in an antique mall. That is what they enjoyed doing together.



In the last 20 years of Mama's life, she had three groups of friends who played an important role in her life. In the early 1980's, Mama joined the staff of the local newspaper, editing, writing local news, features and opinion columns. Like most news rooms, the writers sat in an open hall, desks clustered together to encourage creativity and open sharing of ideas. I never understood how they could concentrate on anything, but Mama thrived in that atmosphere and treasured the companionship of her workmates. The flock of friends that emerged there was known as "The News Hens."



Throughout her life, most of Mama's friends had been discovered through involvement in various church/faith activities. But the News Hens were the first group that gathered primarily because of their career interests. They worked in every department of the newspaper, from hard news to feature writing to editing to advertising to graphic arts. They shared a mutual passion to offer the best local paper they could, and I think a mutual frustration at the limitations imposed on them by limited finances and sometimes callous corporate decisions.



I didn't know the News Hens well...only 2 or 3 of them actually crossed into my circles of church and university activities. But I know that Mama cherished each of them individually for their unique personalities. Shirley was the wise older sister, bringing a large dose of humor to everything they did in a way that kept them from losing focus. Francis' connection to the local community, Beverly's youth and enthusiasm, Fairfax's gentle grace, Vicky's no-nonsense news reporting. There were several others I didn't know as well, and I regret that I never had the opportunity to have a really good look into the Hen House and understand what kept them close to one another. More than work, certainly. More than mutual indignation about those indifferent corporate bosses. More than simple time spent in the same space.



I think part of what kept them together was a genuine respect for one another's intelligence and creativity. In a field in which many journalists were greatly under-appreciated for their long, hard hours of work, their contribution to community transparency and cohesion, and their genuine desire to help make a better community, they provided one another the encouragement and fortitude necessary to keep producing the best product they could offer.



And they like each other! I remember "landing" at the same restaurant as the Hens one lunchtime. I didn't know they were there, but kept hearing the roar of laughter from a boisterous group seated on the patio. I don't remember why I ventured out there, but I somehow caught a glimpse of them, circled around a wrought-iron table under the trees, heads thrown back in raucous laughter. A few minutes later, they were leaning forward, heads tilted toward one of their flock who was sharing something intimate. And yet again, laughing, wiping tears, squeezing hands.



I've known that kind of friendship with 2 or 3 different groups in my lifetime, friendship not born of mutual faith, but of deliberate choice to gather. Our personal values and political positions were not what drew us together, but as openness to differing opinions and mutual respect for one another grew, I came to love these friends in a kind of protective, family way that I found to be a refreshing change from the sometimes insulated, isolated circles of friends I have had in church. They challenged me to make sure that my opinions and values were based not on inherited, cultural norms, but on genuine, informed belief that they were the staff of life.



I think that's what Mama found with Shirley, Frances, Fairfax, and the others. All precious women, all "church" ladies, though not in the traditional sense, but all with a view of the world that wasn't dimmed by stained-glass windows. These are the friends that take the strength of faith and give it roots, simply by virtue of challenging one to make sure the so-called strength is not just stubborn adherence to unsupported opinion.



Thanks, Ladies. You've made my life much more colorful, Mama's too.